All things must pass. (1/3/14)

The post arrived on Thursday and in it was the envelope that I had expected.

My final payslip. My final salary, redundancy pay, outstanding holidays, the usual I suppose; I have no previous experience of redundancy so this is a whole new experience for me.

My first payslip was an actual, honest to God, pay packet. A brown envelope with a pay advice slip and fifteen pounds in notes folded within. Kwik Save,Walton Vale, Summer 1980. Sound Affects, Peter Gabriel 3, that's where the money went. A weekly pay packet for two and a half years; I learnt to drink on that money, I learned how to work Saturdays with a raging hangover.

My first HMV payslip wasn't even HMV per se. Revolver Records, a subsidiary that was soon enveloped. When I received that payslip I was a single lad living with my parents and had just started going out with this blonde girl that I'd met one Friday night (I know. I know, most of you have heard this, bear with me, there is a point coming in a bit). Twenty seven years and seven months separate those two pay slips. Twenty seven years, seven months and a lifetime.

Fifty years old, two sons (one who will disappear to University in six months - Bangor or Belfast seem most likely) and (as you're aware) married to that blonde girl. Twenty five years married next year.

So, what does a final payslip represent at this point in life?

Freedom. Pure and simple, freedom.

The freedom to finally take the time to work toward everything that I've ever really wanted to do. Twenty years' worth of redundancy serves as a bit of a parachute. I've done the registering with the Job Centre thing but I've registered for the work that I truly intend to carry out; I'm registered as looking for freelance writing work, they've given me access to training courses on becoming self employed, support that I genuinely hadn't expected.

So how does one look for work as a freelance writer? Well, one writes. I have two ten minute pieces with the Merseyside Script Initiative's 'Public House' challenge, a 'spec' script at 2000AD, I've pitched to NME and Uncut, I'm working on a radio play script, a TV script for submission to a BAFTA initiative, the beginning of a film script that I've been talking about since 1992 and I've had a conversation with a lovely lady at the Echo about the possibility of writing for their online arm. I've started a book, I'm organising journalistic ventures.

All these are up in the air at the moment. All are either in progress or awaiting response. At times, calling this site 'Mumbling Into The Void' seems like a prophecy but everything feels right. I can feel something coming and there is one thing that I know for certain.

I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing.


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